Forever: Nineteen Hundred
by SevenRoses
Summary: The Doctor realises his life has gone wrong and the universes are collapsing. Trying to avert the disaster, he is caught in a blast that initiates his regeneration but also brings back the faces he never expected to see again. Future Doctor and Rose (and the Meta-Crisis Doctor is there, too). [Completed]
1. The Thunder

**Author's note: **_'Nineteen Hundred' the first Doctor Who fanfic I've ever written. Feel free to criticise but kind words are also welcome :) English is not my mother tongue, so if you find any errors or passages that are not clear, let me know. I watched 'Doctor Who' in English and I felt English would be better for it, but obviously I have some limitations here._

_This is about a future Doctor - some time in the future, as late as possible, so it does not interfere with any series of the show still to come. That's why I did not assign him any number (u__nfortunately it's a bit difficult to describe in terms of existing characters)__. I think he may be 14th or 15th but at some point I'll probably have to revise it. I have the same problem with the title. You may see in the story that '1900' was chosen for a reason, but it all depend on how quickly the present Doctor (12th) ages. If one day there comes an episode (of the TV show, I mean) in which he ages by a thousand years again, I will have to change the title, losing the 19 vs 1900 idea that made me write the story in the first place :)_

_This is now more or less a complete story now, although there may be some modifications. Let me know if you think anything needs correcting or changing!_

_**'Forever: Nineteen Hundred'** is a sequel to **'Forever: The Broken Fragments'**. There will be more stories in the series coming (you can find more details at the end of the last chapter)._

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**FOREVER: NINETEEN HUNDRED**

* * *

**THE THUNDER**

He was dizzy and disoriented. The rumbling noise around, echoing in his head like a doubled, a tripled thunder, made it so hard to focus.

It was a narrow escape - the TARDIS took him away almost the last fraction of a second before the explosion that would have killed him. Good old TARDIS. His only friend at the moment of crisis.

He thought she hated him. She had shown him her dislike more than a couple of times. Like an obstinate, silly old lady who would not understand that times change, that people change! She didn't like his new ways and he didn't like her anymore. He often complained he was stuck with her, the best and the worst ship in the universe. Every trip with her seemed like a tug of war. She refused to do what he wanted her to, her controls went all mad whenever he really needed her to obey; sirens and lights went off at the most inappropriate moments; he kept hitting her and pushing her, and threatening her until she grudgingly gave in. He started working on some improvements, he even thought of a completely new design, but the work was slow. He may have been a genius but the the design of the TARDIS held too many mysteries for him. At the worst times, he could only bang his head against the control panel in frustration. Deep in his heart he swore that one day he would just scrap the mad old ship in a galactic junk yard.

And now she was the only one that stayed with him.

Now that the barriers between the universes were cracking, realities falling apart, he finally saw with painful clarity how reckless he had been. Playing with fire you get burnt. He used to laugh at that. Playing with fire was what he did all the time. Now the whole world was ablaze, and it was too late.

The realisation was like a bucket of ice-cold water over his head.

He stumbled to his feet, holding on to the controls, relying on them not to break under his weight. They held him, but his grasp did not - the TARDIS was flying hectically, uncontrollably, jolting and swaying violently. Bruised and battered, he landed on the floor again. He wondered what was happening to her. Funny thing, he could almost picture her bumping into asteroids. But he knew it could not be asteroids. She was not a spaceship; she would not be affected that way. She would fly smoothly between them, avoiding any contact, sliding along timelines. This time she seemed to be colliding with something that stood in her way. What could stand in the way of a time machine? What could make time bumpy enough to impact the time vortex?

He knew of one such thing. Or rather, of one such no-thing.

The void.

The walls were crumbling, and the explosion that had nearly cost him life did not help at all. Cracks, fissures, dents, holes. It could have been a matter of seconds, maybe minutes, before the entire universe was sucked into the void. There was no stopping it.

Or maybe?

He tried to shake off the effects of the blast and think clearly for a moment. Perhaps there was still something he could do to repair the damage, after all. Time being one of the main building blocks of reality, it could be reinforced and strengthened, like any material. The proper way of doing it was out of the question. To actually repair damaged time fabric he would need... more time. He laughed bitterly. But there were all those quick and dirty shortcuts. If he could just turn all the safeguards off, fly the TARDIS into the void, and make her heart explode outside of time and space, at the right place and angle, the impact of the time vortex might just close the cracks and at least some of the universes would survive.

The TARDIS would die, though.

An abrupt jolt of the ship caught him unawares and pushed him against the door, hitting them open. Lights and controls went crazy. His fingers fumbled at the threshold trying to hold on to it. It felt almost as if she did it on purpose - letting him go, getting rid of her self-proclaimed driver and killer. She must have heard his thoughts. Or perhaps he was just imagining things.

With a pang of pain he remembered the time he trusted the TARDIS more than anyone else. She always seemed to look after him in a special way. No great wonder there, she _was _a telepathic being, with her own consciousness, if not a semblance of life.

He wanted to beg her for help: not for himself; for the universes. But deep inside he knew it made no sense. He had earned it. He had worked for it for years. Throwing him out like trash, she was only giving him what he rightly deserved. Why should she even care? Hanging from her open door, he gazed at her: she loomed above him, tall, threatening, ominous, like impending doom.

How did he end up hating and hurting everyone, destroying worlds and people's lives without any remorse? His life went wrong a long time ago, and he couldn't even remember when.

He closed his eyes and remembered the name he used to call her in the good old days.

_Sexy? Please…? Let me at least die a good death… Let me…_

A massive hit interrupted his thoughts. Lights went off completely. Deafening silence pierced his ears. Everything stopped. Something was very wrong. A moment later, hell was unleashed. It was no longer a bumpy ride - it was a proper earthquake. The TARDIS was convulsing, and he was losing his grasp.

And then everything around exploded.

The heart of the TARDIS must have hit the void and she was dying.

And he was dying with her, his hearts, his body, his mind, his memory exploding to. It was only fair that he would.

His eyes fixed on her scratched blue door, he slipped into heavy, smothering darkness.


	2. The Voice

_**Author's note: **The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'._

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**FOREVER: NINETEEN HUNDRED**

* * *

**THE VOICE**

The first thing he became aware of was the light. His eyes were closed tight but he could still see the light. Physical obstacles didn't seem to affect it. It dazed him, it burnt, it hurt. Not just the eyes. His whole body was in agony. He gasped for breath and his chest nearly exploded.

'Doctor…'

The voice was choked-up and searingly familiar - but he could not quite place it. The thunder in his head kept thumping and his thoughts were somehow scattered, running away too far to grasp. The light was everywhere, and the voice...

'Doctor? Is it really you?!'

It was not just light. It was music: the sweetest heavenly music pouring into his mind, taking away his breath. It felt like the whole universe was crying, every planet in tears, every nebula singing and smiling, and weeping in his hearts. And the funny, inadequate rhythm of the hymn they sang.

The rhythm he remembered he could dance to.

Dance.

No. It couldn't be.

The mere thought nearly stopped his hearts.

The blinding light slowly subsided, leaving him dazed and confused. Everything was dim, and he couldn't make out where he was. The only things he was aware of were the voice that seemed to be wrapping him with music and light, and the overwhelming pain in his own chest.

It was happening.

Every cell in his body was dying. Every cell was fighting back, trying to reform and take a new shape. He loathed the process: it was painful, sickening, and the results were completely unpredictable. _How weird_, he realised. For the first time in ages, it didn't bother him at all. Almost as if it was happening to someone else. Another time, another place. Here and now, all he could think of was the voice. It filled him with something he could not even try describe: a feeling of lightness and freedom, and something else ...hope? He had forgotten that word long ago. He held on to it with all of his tortured mind, praying the light and the music would never stop.

Rays of light burst from his body.

A tsunami of memories overflowed him. He tried to keep them still, to have a proper look, but they just kept flowing. It was so long ago... so far away from where he was now! He made a frantic effort to open his eyes one last time, to make out the face behind the voice. To make sure the face was _really_ there. But his eyelids would not move. His body seemed helpless, detached from his brain, seizing in agony.

Was she real? Or was it his dying dream?

All he knew was that he was going to follow that voice wherever it came from, whether it was life or death, reality or hallucination. He felt a scream rising inside him. Not in his throat as he had no control over it, but deep inside his mind.

All the consciousness still left in him screamed her name.

The name he had not spoken for ages.

Clinging to the name, like a drowning man clutching at a straw, he slid into unconsciousness.


	3. The Dawn

_**Author's note:** __The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_This is now more or less a complete story, although there may be some modifications. Let me know if you think anything needs correcting or changing!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'_

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

_[FLUFF WARNING!] For some mysterious reason, whatever I start writing, it ends up being sort of fluffy. You have been warned ;)_

* * *

**FOREVER: NINETEEN HUNDRED**

* * *

**THE DAWN**

The first sensation that pushed through the darkness and crept into his mind was a sort of urgency and expectation. He wasn't quite sure why but he_wanted _to wake up as soon as possible. He tried to search his brain for clues but the images he found were not ones he would really like to face. The universes were falling apart and he had a hand in it, too. Yet, something kept calling him to wake up, dragging him back into reality, urging to fight the fog that still clouded his senses.

The voice. And the words it said over and over again, like an incantation.

'Doctor? 's okay, Doctor! You're gonna be okay! I found you!'

The universes were falling apart but she was there.

He calmly reviewed the other, more likely explanations. He could be hallucinating; it sometimes happened after regenerating. He could have been attacked by a dream crab, dying in his sleep. He could be caught up in someone else's dream reality, or even his own. But even if he was, all he wanted right now was for this dream to continue.

'My Doctor.'

A soft hand touched his cheek.

No. Not just to continue, he realised. Continue was not good enough. He wanted it to be true. He took a deep breath and forced his eyes open.

She was holding his head on her lap, stroking his hair, her make-up flowing down her face in black waves.

'Rose...'

Speaking was harder than he expected. The new body felt strange and unfamiliar. His throat was hoarse, and his voice barely audible. She fixed her eyes on him, unsure if she had really heard anything.

'Rose... Tyler.'

He had forgotten the intensity that name held for him. Now it almost completely exhausted him to say it. He thought he was going to faint — he shouldn't have tried to wake up so soon - but then he felt her arms around him, stirring up and gathering any strength still left in him. He returned the hug fiercely, gasping for breath, forcing himself to stay conscious. It was the first time he had ever hugged her... with these arms. And there was no power that would make him let go.

It was all right. He'd found his Rose.

He was slowly regaining control over his body but his senses were still numb, and his time sense was no exception. He couldn't even tell how long they hugged. It could have been seconds or hours. Seconds or hours of inconceivable bliss and closeness. Seconds, or hours, in which his hearts danced the wildest dance, and his mind repeated the mantra: _Rose is here! Rose is here!_ until he was so dizzy that he wasn't sure of anything. Then, right on cue, they broke off from the hug and looked at each other to check that they were not dreaming, and studied each other's features with wonder. She wiped her eyes, smearing the mascara all over her face, swollen and red from crying. He noticed she looked much older than when he last saw her. And so much more beautiful, he noted without surprise. The warmth deep in his hearts grew. He wondered how many years had passed for her. There were so many things he wanted to ask her, and so many things he wanted to tell her. He just didn't want to break the silence, not yet.

And just then...

'Hello, Doctor!'

The unexpected words almost made him jump up.

It was not Rose who said it but he knew the voice. So familiar that it made him shiver. Only now did he realise they were not alone. It came as a blow to him but he rebuked himself the same instant. _Of course_ she didn't come on her own. The other face he saw was his own. Well, _sort of_ his own. Almost forgotten now, but his own. It was good. It was just as it was meant to be, Rose and _her Doctor, _he thought. Why did the thought hurt? It was all as it was meant to be.

Except, he suddenly noticed, the face of _Rose's Doctor_ looked worn and tired: even older than he would have guessed looking at Rose.

'Hello, Doctor,' he echoed the greeting with a weak smile. 'Glad to see you!' he added. He was, in fact, glad to see that Rose was not alone. 'How did you...?'

'Ultra-wave nuclear micro particle refractor. We used it with a little twist. Tapered with the settings, you know, to create a high impact bomb. Pete's world was dying so we thought if we could create a time vortex, well, something close enough to a time vortex, and then get it to explode inside the void, we might just get lucky, and... Yeah, I know, high radiation and toxicity, but quite a success with the primitive technology we had. And still useful,' the human Doctor explained in a matter-of-fact tone. 'We didn't have much choice anyway. Something's happened to the fabric of the universe.'

The Doctor clenched his fists. He didn't like being reminded of his past self but he knew that sooner or later he would have to face it anyway. He sat up to look around and was surprised how a simple movement could make him dizzy: apparently he was still weak after the regeneration. He still had a hell of a headache. They were in the TARDIS. He was almost certain he fell out of the ship... or was falling out... or was about to fall out? The memory was hazy and he couldn't quite remember what happened next. He needed to focus. Rose and _Rose's Doctor _were in the TARDIS, wearing... some torn space suits?! He shuddered: they should be dead, both of them. It was a miracle they were still alive, and the only miracle worker he could think of that was close enough to make it happen was the TARDIS. She must have picked them up. It was the only plausible explanation.

But plausible or not, it was still impossible. She would have to be there at the exact same fraction of a second they did, at the coordinates exactly matching their coordinates in Pete's world, and he didn't even try to think of other factors that would have to be matched with perfect precision for the whole thing to happen.

Yet, somehow it did happen, and the TARDIS...

...the TARDIS, he realised, was awfully quiet comparing to how he remembered her. He sensed no hate or anger: she seemed kind and protective, like in the old days, and the controls hummed a soothing song. She was obviously happy to see Rose and _Rose's__ Doctor_. Good old girl, she was happy to see Rose!

Rose must have noticed signs of exhaustion and paleness of his face, and gently gestured him to stay down. She was quite composed herself. She smiled at him, and the funny black smudges on her cheeks made him completely melt inside and forget everything else.

'See, we were trying to explode our bomb inside the void to close down the cracks. Should have known if the universe's cracking, we'd bump right into you,' she said softly. 'I never thought I get to meet you again before…' He could hear the subdued tearful ring in her voice and almost involuntarily squeezed her hand. She returned it fiercely. 'Back there in Pete's world, we'd have given loads for your help, you know? But now we've met, blimey, you kinda' look like you need ours…?'

The relief came in the form of infectious laughter. They all burst out into laughter at the same time, hugged, and laughed again, and the tension seemed to be gone.

'You figured it out, too,' said the human Doctor eyeing his Time Lord counterpart. 'The impact from the other side, that's why you were here? But trying to explode the good old girl?! Oh, shame on you!'

The Time Lord closed his eyes heavily.

'I figured it out, yeah.' he admitted. 'You were just in time to save me from doing it, I suppose. But for a moment I really thought that explosion _was_my TARDIS…'

'Our ship must have collided with the TARDIS and our little bomb went off. A bit dirty but did its work,' explained the other. He looked thoughtful. 'I wasn't sure it would actually explode. I wonder. It wasn't even a proper vortex. A bit weird. I'm not even sure how we ended in here. I just remember the blast. So glad it worked! D'you think it could have been the TARDIS?'

He didn't wait for an answer. He glanced around with slight disgust.

'You've redecorated. Not really my style, nah. And what's that? A telepathic interface? A telepathic interface! But that's brilliant! How come I never thought of that?' he stood still for a moment, gazing at the controls with absolute fascination. Then he murmured, 'The old girl really needs some care... She's practically falling apart!', and turned away to the console, all of a sudden completely forgetting about Rose and the newly regenerated Time Lord.

The Doctor couldn't help thinking the human guy tried to give them some space.

Or maybe it was really about the TARDIS. _Rose's Doctor _must have missed the TARDIS just as he himself would. They belonged to each other even when they quarrelled. He was lucky to have her through all those years. He owed her an apology. He hated apologies. Okay, so this has not changed. He hated apologies. But this time...

_Sexy? Hope you're listening... you've always been the best ship in the universe... That's in case I ever told you anything else. I think I might have... And... I don't know how you did it... I mean, erm... thank you!_

The murmur of her engines became a little louder, and strangely reminiscent of soft, cheerful laughter.


	4. The Truth

_**Author's note:** __The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'_

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**FOREVER: NINETEEN HUNDRED**

* * *

**THE TRUTH**

Finding her way around the TARDIS seemed easier than she remembered. It only took her a minute to find the kitchen. She brought tea to the central console room and settled herself by the Doctor's side. Tucked comfortably under a blanket, his eyes half-closed, he seemed a little better now, but remembering the only other time she saw it happen, she could not be sure it was over. He was still a bit distracted, even confused at times, and he looked very much like a person recovering from a serious illness: pale, weak, every effort or emotion seemed to exhaust him. She was determined to watch over him until he fully recovered. It was natural that she should stay and help him through the post-regeneration trauma. She didn't dare to think any further than that. Being there, in the TARDIS, once again, with _two_ Doctors, both of them real and both being _her _Doctor, she felt completely lost. There were so many things she had wanted to tell him: now that he was so close, she didn't even know where to start.

'I... I saw you change... erm... regenerate. Just when we hit you and it all went crazy. The TARDIS, I think she just let us in somehow, I don't remember that part, and you, you were there, and...' she trailed off. The horror of watching it happen again, in front of her eyes, mixed with the absolute rapture of seeing him there and then, was still too fresh in her memory. She was silent for a moment, fighting back tears. Then she noticed his empty gaze. His mind seemed to be wandering somewhere far away. 'Doctor? You okay? You're all dizzy, right? There, how 'bout some tea?' She handed him the cup. He took it absently but she kept holding it, so he ended up grabbing her hands, and then withdrawing his own with a panicked smile.

'It's been so long,' he muttered.

'Yep. The longest nineteen years in my life.'

Nineteen years.

Shorter than a moment in the life of a Time Lord, it was half of her life so far. He looked at her intently, trying to trace the passage of time on her face. As far as he could tell, which he always found a bit tricky when humans were concerned, she looked older than forty. And yet, there was some sort of magnetism in that face which made him forget why he looked in the first place. He used to think aging was an ordeal, and for some humans it really was. But now, looking at Rose's wrinkles, he only saw incredible beauty that warmed both his hearts. Memories of all the precious moments, written on her face by time as it passed. Every line was a moment he wasn't there for her. A moment she shared with her human Doctor. He wondered how it could feel, living nineteen years by her side, and growing old with her? He wasn't envious. No, no, that would be downright stupid. The human Doctor was good for her. He was _Rose's Doctor._ If they were still together after nineteen years, it was okay. Just as it was supposed to be. There was no need to bring his twisted Time Lord fate back into the equation. If they make it out the void alive, he should just help them settle down somewhere...

Somewhere he would not have to meet them again.

All right, so he _was_ envious. The moment he realized the direction of his own thoughts, he mentally scolded himself. It _was_ downright stupid, and it distracted him more than it should have. Rose's face was weary and had a sickly yellowish hue, and _that_ was something he needed to focus on. Even taking away the smudged make-up and swollen eyes, she looked _too_ old. Or very ill. Alarmed with the discovery, the Doctor turned his eyes to the human Doctor, standing at the console and murmuring something under his breath. The man looked like a wreck of his old self.

There was more to their unexpected meeting than the human guy (_not 'the human guy', it's_ _Rose's Doctor!),_ morethan _Rose's Doctor_ was telling him. They needed to talk. But not now. Not while Rose was here, contemplating his features while he was sipping hot tea. Funny thing. He never liked quiet, never wanted it; but now unexpectedly just sitting with her, saying nothing, was so precious. He couldn't bring himself to just stand up and walk off. He tried to - but his body resisted, and he was thankful.

Rose noticed his effort and gently held him in place.

'You're not going anywhere,' she ordered with a soft smile. 'Still need some rest. You're different now, you know? Can't quite get used to you, not yet. Tell me, how has it been? How have _you_ been? It's not the first time you regenerated since… erm... since... ' she trailed off. 'So, how's everyone on Earth? I mean, the proper Earth. How is Mickey, have you ever popped in to say hello? And Donna? Is she okay? The Doctor said she couldn't possibly stay that way, half Time Lord, I mean. He said it would damage her brain. But you wouldn't leave her like that, so what did you do? Does she still travel with you? And Jack? And Sarah-Jane?'

He shuddered inside. All the names that he had put in the closed drawers of his memory vault. Safe, never to be opened again. Never to be mentioned. And she just ran in and pulled them all out, rummaging among the memories. Turning all the graveyard upside down, disturbing the dead.

Why did it hurt so much if the memories were dead?

'No, no Rose, tell me about you! How have _you_ been doing? How was it in Pete's world?'

He saw her eyes light up. She opened her mouth - but then she closed it without uttering a sound. She hesitated. There was some uncertainty in her voice when she finally spoke. She wasn't sure she was doing the right thing being honest.

'I... I don't know. See, it was amazing but also sort of hard, and... erm... weird. The Doctor can tell you, he knows. He's you and yet he's not you at all. It's like being very close and very far. Heaven and hell, same time. It's… not fair.'

He held her hand gently. His eyes were clouded by the memories, scenes played in the reverse order. The three of them on the beach, a good-bye without good-bye. Seeing Rose with a huge gun and running towards her like crazy. Burning up a sun to say good-bye. The wall in the Torchwood building, so solid and impenetrable.

'Rose. I just... I couldn't... I'm… sorry,' he found no other words. But having said them so many times, he wasn't sure they meant anything. 'I mean… I wish… I'm … Oh, Rose!'

'No, no, it's okay. It's not your fault,' she sighed. 'It was amazing, really! I just wish I knew how to explain it. The mirror, the broken fragments, why you just cannot let them go, and all that. I... I don't think we actually have words for it. We're just stupid apes. We like simple things: a person can leave, or die, but they can't become two persons. And now you're here... And I just don't know how to explain it...'

She was all shaken inside. She tried very hard not to show it, hiding the slight shiver of her lips behind a smile, stopping when she knew her voice would betray her. But there was no way he could miss it now. And no way he could let it go. He _wanted _to know exactly what she's been through. He needed to know that, no matter how it might hurt.

He touched her temples with his hands.

'Rose? You can tell me everything. You don't need words. Just think about it, try to remember… and I'll hear your thoughts if you let me.'

She smiled shyly - and she thought. Not just thought, felt. Day after day. Every little tingle of joy, excitement, delight. Every moment of despair, every kick of pain, every doubt. Lonely days and long nights, staring into the sky, hoping against all odds to see the blue police box flying by. Soft sweetness and trembling inside when the human Doctor held her in his arms.

He realised with a pang of pain he was there with her, every minute of those nineteen years. He was not the only one who was torn in two that day. So was Rose. Every day after that when she held her human Doctor, she extended the embrace to the Time Lord she had lost. When she said hello in the morning, she was saying it to them both. She grabbed all the happiness she could but he was always on her mind. Every kiss was torn in two, like her heart. Every smile was flooded with tears. He could feel her happiness mixed with sadness, the pain of holding on to the most precious memories while still living every second of her new life as if it was miracle. The dream that haunted her some nights, in which the Doctor came to tell her it had never happened. She would always wake up crying, and even the crying was torn in two, like her entire world. And lying beneath all these was the love. Overwhelming, overpowering love that could fill nineteen years as well as nineteen hundred, which kept her in one piece even when her mind could not cope.

He didn't notice tears in his own eyes, looking at her dearest wrinkled face gently resting in his palms as she re-lived those years for him. He took it all in, every second she remembered, every thought she thought.

How could he have ever wanted to forget?

How could he have ever believed it was better that way?

And then suddenly, a cry of agony pierced through his mind. Rose's eyes were fixed on his, open wide in horror.

'What is it? Rose?! Rose, look at me!'

The human Doctor was at her side in a second. They both held her up, trying to calm and comfort her. She curled up like a dead leaf, trembling and weeping. Her mind was in turmoil, boiling with emotions, for no reason he could explain. But there was something else.

He searched his pockets for the sonic screwdriver feverishly.

She was dying. Her heart rate was all wrong, it was failing. Severe radiation sickness was eating her body. That was why she was pale, her hair was thin, and looked way too old. Without help, she still had a couple of weeks before her, probably, but they were marked with agony of slowly giving in to all the malicious things radiation did to her fragile human body.

But hidden behind the effects of radiation he spotted something much more terrifying.

The readings could be wrong. He hoped they were wrong. Trying to keep calm, unaware of his face turning completely ashen, he scanned Rose again, and then pointed the sonic screwdriver at the human Doctor, just to be sure. The results left no doubt.

'You know?' he asked him in a strange, raspy voice. Not that he needed any confirmation. Suddenly it all became clear. The human Doctor nodded silently. He was holding Rose in his arms while the Time Lord scanned them both.

'Not now,' he begged. 'Let's not scare her any more... I'll tell you later...'

The Time Lord reluctantly admitted he was right. Even though the mental connection was now broken, he could sense Rose's emotions pouring out her mind: guilt, horror, fear, compassion, all mixed into one.

'Rose… it's okay now... tell me what you...'

She clung to him before he finished, breaking away from the human Doctor's embrace.

'Doctor! My Doctor... I'm so sorry... All those years, all that you suffered. How could I ever let this happen to you?!'

All those years, she said. How could she know? Why did she think she was guilty? He was confused. He was clearly missing something obvious. The last thing he wanted was Rose feeling guilty for _his _blunders. He took a deep breath and gave her a broad reassuring smile. It was completely fake but he remembered how well it worked with humans.

'Hey, whoever told you that nonsense?!' he said with pretended cheerfulness. 'It's been a nice couple of years since we met last time! Crazy, yes, but fun to live and fun to remember!'

She looked him in the eye and a shiver went down his spine.

'Nineteen hundred, Doctor,' she said slowly.

He gaped at her in silence. There was no reproach in her voice. Just incredible sadness.

'Nineteen hundred years of losing best friends, losing the loved ones. Nineteen hundred years of hating yourself and taking revenge on the world. Becoming all that you fought against. How could I let you go through this when I should keep you safe?!'

He saw the human Doctor's expression of suppressed anger, and it finally struck him how thick he was. He opened the door in her mind to let her express things beyond words, but when a door opens, you can pass both ways. Carried away with her memories, he didn't keep up his own defenses. She walked straight into the raging storm. She saw all the things she was not supposed to see. All the things he tried to hide even from himself.

'Rose...'

Kneeling by her side, he held her in his arms, cuddling her gently and stroking her hair, trying to comfort her. Somehow it did not matter what the human Doctor thought right now. His Rose found her way back to him, back from another world, and across the oblivion he tried to push her into, and turned his life upside down in a split second. And he was suddenly sick with himself. He was selfish and careless. He hurt her again. And the he tried to lie... Why did he always hurt everyone he... everyone who was important for him?

'It's all right, Rose. It's been hard at times, you're right. I've made mistakes. Done things I shouldn't have. But it's all right now. You're here. You've found me. And you've been his guide, made him a better man, just as I asked you to. My brave Rose...'

'I hoped we'd meet you here, my God, I so hoped for it!' she whispered frantically. 'Nobody guessed, only my little brother did. He saw right through me. I missed you so much. I'd do anything to see you. And then I thought you might help the Doctor,' she explained. Her voice was broken by spasms but she did her best to control it. _My brave Rose_, he thought proudly. _Always a fighter_. 'Can you cure him? We've been doing a lot of things, you know, fun things, dangerous things. There were some weird things around that needed to be taken care of. He won't tell me but I think it's radiation.' _So she knew that part all along._ 'There was that room in the lab, with such a silly safety lock, so you could only one door when the other was locked, and the door jammed on me, so he just ran in and got locked... He took it all in, the radiation.'

_No. No way!_

At this point it was just too much to process. After all he had just discovered, that last part unexpectedly broke him down. The way the events of the parallel world mirrored the events of this world was just frightening, even for him.

'I'm fine, he got me out of there in time, but he's in a really bad way. See how he's aged?' she continued. She didn't notice his ghastly expression. 'And he cannot, he cannot, you know...' her voice broke again. 'He always acts like a Time Lord, never remembers he's human and he only has one life! I told him it was going to kill him one day! And now, just look at him!'

She paused, suddenly distracted, shifting her eyes from one Doctor to the other.

'I think my heart will break. I think it will explode,' she said. 'You're both here... I just... I can't really...'

Two Doctors were more than her loving human heart could bear. The despair and misery in her voice was devastating. One of the many things he had done wrong. For a hundredth time he thought he should have never dragged her into his life. She was better off with her mum, in the Powell Estate. She could still be living there, same old flat, same old faces. Working, eating, and sleeping - but surrounded by the love she could cope with. He knew it could not be undone now. He also knew the world would have died several times if it hadn't been for Rose. It didn't make him any less guilty. Even now, knowing how wrong it was, there was part of him, deep inside, crying of happiness because she was so close again. He used to think it was all dead but it wasn't. Just sleeping, waiting for her to come back. And here she was...

Unaware of his chaotic thoughts, Rose collected herself and made an effort to smile.

'Sorry, I didn't know I was such a freaking mess. It's just... hard sometimes. You know, with the world collapsing, and Mum nagging me about it all, and the whole void thingy, it just gets too hard sometimes,' she explained apologetically. 'You _can_ help him, though, Doctor, can't you?' she insisted with agonizing confidence. 'Will you? Doctor, please?'

He wasn't listening. His eyes were fixed on a point in the distance, unseeing.

'You're not well, Doctor. Have more rest. This process, you told me yourself, it's dodgy. I'll get you more tea. The tannins, see, I remember!'

He stopped her and held her close.

He had locked every memory of her out of him mind long ago in an attempt to stay sane. He never mentioned her name over those years except once: an even then it was only to check if the pain had gone. Now she was here. She was dying and didn't even know about it. She blamed herself for his nineteen hundred years he spent without her, and she begged for help for the human Doctor. After smashing her life into pieces, was there anything he could tell her? Anything that made sense, anything that was true?

He bit his lip. Yes, there was something. The very thing he was not allowed to say: not then, not now, not ever. It was already messy enough. She was in a mess. He was in a mess. He didn't even want to think about what the human Doctor was feeling.

'Rose Tyler...'

A different face, and a different voice. But the way he said it was so familiar that it made her brighten up and forget the worries for a moment.

'... if anyone ever tells you... that some things do not need saying... just tell them... just tell them they are bloody idiots, will you?'


	5. The Struggle

_**Author's note:** __The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_This is now more or less a complete story, although there may be some modifications. Let me know if you think anything needs correcting or changing!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'_

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**FOREVER: NINETEEN HUNDRED**

* * *

**THE STRUGGLE**

A moment of awkward silence followed the Doctor's words. Rose's lips shivered slightly before she buried her face in her hands. She tried to suppress the cry but her whole body trembled, giving her away.

'You've got to be kidding me,' he heard the human Doctor's furious whisper. '_Now_ he tells her, now, of all times!' It was probably not meant to be heard. Or maybe it was. Whichever the case, the Doctor chose to ignore it. Basically, the guy just voiced what he was thinking himself. The moment he heard his own words he knew he shouldn't have said them. As the matters were, they didn't change anything, except making things harder for Rose. _Just perfect!_

He squeezed her wrists a little too hard, pulling her hands away from her face.

'Look at me, Rose,' he implored. 'I... didn't want... I didn't mean... It just... gets a bit hard sometimes. Like you said.'

'S'okay, Doctor, I know it does,' she mumbled, sniffling and smiling through the tears. Even her smile was torn in two: sparkling happy with a heavy overlay of sadness. But then her eyes, still full of tears, glittered with sudden mischief and she stuck her tongue between her teeth: 'You meant Time Lords, right? I should tell them they are bloody Time Lords?'

'Mhm, pretty much the same thing,' he agreed with a wide grin. It felt weird, laughing together for no reason. This must have been what humans felt like being back home after a long journey. Except inside he felt more like crying. _S'okay, Doctor_. That was what she would always say. No matter what trouble they were in, she always said it was okay. Rassilon, if only he could kiss away those tears... and tell her she was right, it _was_ okay. And then watch her smile. Nothing more, just watch her smile.

But that would be a lie, and he wasn't going to lie to Rose.

'I told lies' he began a bit incoherently. She stopped smiling, startled by the change of his expression.

'Doctor?'

'...loads of lies, I mean, in my old lives. Didn't mean to hurt anyone, it was just to make people feel better. I think I lied to everyone who was important for me. But I can't do that to you. You're my Rose... and...' he trailed off, trying to pull himself together. 'See, it's not that easy, Rose. We're in the void. We probably saved a world or two when we collided, and that's the good part. But we're stranded. The Doctor's already checked it, haven't you, Doctor?'

The human Doctor nodded.

'It is the TARDIS that keeps us alive, I'm not sure how exactly she is doing that, or how long she can keep it up, she won't tell me. Eventually she will lose power and we just die.'

She listened to him quietly.

'But even if we don't, even if we find a way out. Rose, radiation sickness is a piece of cake comparing to void impact. We've been all exposed to the void. '

The human Doctor fidgeted and shifted uneasily. He didn't like the turn this conversation was taking.

'It's a sort of, well, a sort of decay. Except it's not your body or mind that decays, it's your... well you could call it a life pattern, but that's just a rough translation. It's about...' he stopped for a moment looking for words that she would understand, '...well, it's how real you are, how much you exist. Void is the opposite of existence: there's no time or space there. Falling into the void you'd just be wiped out. It's similar to radiation: lower doses will not evaporate you immediately, you just start decaying, falling apart, your existence is weakened... Time Lords are quite resistant to it but you saw it yourself: there was the blast and pah! new life. I don't know what your two did back there, in Pete's world, but it probably wasn't very reasonable. At least remembering what you yourself did before. The very idea of a dimension cannon should be banned. And now you both came here, in a spaceship, wearing those suits...' he smiled softly. It may have been silly but he was proud of them.

'You will help him, though, won't you? You said radiation can be cured?' she insisted. The absolute trust in her eyes was unbearable. He pressed his lips tight, torn between his resolution of not lying and the overwhelming desire never ever to disappoint her.

'Rose. I... I just don't know. He's a hybrid. He's life pattern is unique. It's good that he's part Time Lord, makes him more resistant. But then, realities don't like unique. Hybrid patterns are less fixed, less real, so...'

The human Doctor opened his mouth but before he managed to say a word, Rose retorted angrily:

'He's as real as you or me, every bit of him! So don't give me any of this nonsense! '

'I know, Rose, you're right, he is. I'm... sorry. It's just... it's not what I meant. Try to imagine reality is a person. Got that? And the person is surrounded, well _you _are surrounded with things: houses, tables, chairs, teapots, clothes. Normal things. And suddenly shop window dummies come to life and want to kill you!'

The human Doctor rolled his eyes. But even he couldn't help smiling. Rose grinned happily.

'... and then this guy out of nowhere grabs my hand, and we run!' she finished. 'But I don't see the point, Doctor...'

'Well, you run... _we_ run...' he blinked to keep away the mist that clouded his vision. 'Okay, but what are you thinking? That it's students dressing up and being silly. Or you've had one too many. Delusions. Or robots, could new type of robots. Students, delusions, robots, they are all normal. Acceptable. You know they exist. Living plastic is not. Your memory, well, not yours, but most people's memory will erase it, or replace it with something more 'normal'. In the same way reality will try to erase what does not fit. Like hybrids.'

'Tell me you _will_ save him. Please?' she repeated gravely.

He bit his lip nervously.

'Rose, I don't know... There... there might be a way, not sure it will work, but I'd try it anyway. Except, Rose... except he will not want that.'

He saw the human Doctor give him frantic signs while he was speaking, trying to stop him from saying it out loud, and then sigh with resigned relief. Rose frowned, looking from one to the other, suspicious.

'He will not want you to save him? You're not making sense, Doctor!'

'Rose, I know him well enough to know. He will not because he wants me to try and save you instead.'

The human Doctor sighed loudly. He may have not been a telepath but he was still good at projecting his emotions.

_So much for not scaring Rose, you... bloody...Time Lord!_

Right. They were supposed to talk. Just the two of them. Discuss it. Find a solution if there was any. The Doctor knew he messed it up. Again. How many times since they met? He lost count.

'You're not telling me everything, are you?' the tremble in Rose's voice told him she was in fact beginning to be scared. He reached out for her hand but withdrew immediately as he saw the human Doctor do the same. He was _Rose's Doctor_. He had every right to hold her hand.

Glaring his disapproval at the Time Lord, _Rose's Doctor_ took his turn to do the explaining.

'It's gonna be all right, Rose, I promise. I did my best to find him. I worked on the coordinates at nights, with Lil' Bil, to find the point where our worlds were closest, hoping _he_ would be doing the same. You see, I need him to save you. I cannot, I don't have that bloody Time Lord power and technology, no TARDIS to jump times and places for a cure. After we hit the void, the chances are close to zero anyway, and I knew it from the start. I should have told you though. Still, with all his regeneration energy, and all the stuff he has on board the TARDIS, he might just be able…'

Rose sighed as a person whose patience is running out.

'_You _are not making sense, either. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me! Just tired, it's been a hard year,' she explained in the tone she would use explaining thing to Tony when he was a toddler. 'You need help. You took in all that radiation in the lab, remember? And this void thingy... The Doctor just said it's dangerous for you. He'll help you. I know he can.'

'Rose...'

The two Doctors exchanged glances. Then the Time Lord spoke.

'I scanned you both, Rose. You've both taken extremely high doses of radiation. In human terms, Rose, you are terminally ill. Weeks, maybe days. But that alone would have been curable. The void impact isn't, though. Your life pattern is disintegrating, too. You jumped worlds too many times. Tell me, back then when the stars were going out... did you get to me on the first try? Second? How many times did you have to try?'

She didn't say a word. Finally, she was beginning to understand.

'And recently, try to remember, Rose. Did it ever happen that people forgot your name? People who knew you well, I mean. Did it ever happen that they invited everyone else but forgot you? Did they promise to give you a ride home and then forgot? Did it happen often?'

'All the time! But come on, Doctor, you can't be serious? People just do that! It doesn't mean I'm sick with your void something! I'm fine! Tell him I am fine!' she turned to the human Doctor. He took a deep breath, taking time before he spoke.

'No, Rose, you're not. You've absorbed much more radiation than a human ever should. I was too late saving you, back then in the lab. I did all I could to keep you in good shape but it's difficult when you can't hop to another planet for the cure. We never talked about it but you must have seen it in the mirror. And then I started noticing the symptoms. First some Torchwood members disappeared and no one seemed to care. No one remembered they ever existed. Then I noticed how the guard always checked three times when you entered the office, saying he wasn't able to find your name on the list. I looked, it _was_ on the list, he just didn't notice it.'

'Come one, he was just an old man...'

'It wasn't just this, Rose. It happened everywhere. Not just to you: to both of us. When I discovered what was happening to the world, it took me ages to convince anyone, because people just kept forgetting me and what I said. Rose, even Pete started forgetting who you were, at the end. Not when he saw you, no, but when you were not around. That's how it works. The closer you are, the more difficult it is to forget. And it gets worse. This mission, I know, it was a bit crazy, more void impact for both of us. But it was our only chance to find him so I figured it was worth a shot. You see, Rose, I swore I would protect you. It's not in my power any more, I'm basically falling apart. But now that we've found the Doctor, he'll do all he can to save you, I know he will, and it's gonna be all right.'

She looked at the human Doctor, and then back at the Time Lord, hoping desperately he would says the human Doctor was wrong. But he bowed his head in silent confirmation.

'So you mean, I'm gonna die, and if I don't die, I'll probably be erased anyway just 'cause I jumped the void too much?' she reiterated calmly. 'The Doctor is dying too, for the same reasons. He brought me here to save me, but you cannot save us both, so one dies anyway? It that it?'

'Yes. That's pretty much it, Rose,' the Doctor admitted. Telling the truth wasn't easy. Now he remembered why he started lying in the first place.

'But you said you can try to save the Doctor, how?'

He gulped.

'He is dying, all cells in his body disintegrating. He is beyond any medicine I know. It's the exact moment when I... I mean, when a Time Lord would regenerate. You are right, I can try to give him that. I can try to heal him just as if he _were_ regenerating, no change of face, just your old Doctor. I have some energy from my regeneration, could use it on him. If that's not enough, I have some reserves, there'a a chance they strengthen his life pattern, make him more Time Lord. But... there are too many ifs, Rose. No one has done that before. Not to cure void decay. And there's one thing... I just might not be able to save you afterwards and if you die... I cannot let it happen, and I know he will not let me, either. As long as there is a smallest chance, he will want me to save you first. After all, he is almost me.'

'Doctor,' she looked deep into his eyes. 'It can't be that bad?'

'It is, Rose...'

The human Doctor shrugged impatiently.

'Can we just stop moaning like we're all dead already,' he sneered. 'You just save Rose and it's all good.'

'No way! I'm not letting you go!' Rose stamped her foot at the human Doctor.

'Well, so it's a stalemate because I'm not losing you, Rose!'

'But that's silly! Can you hear yourself? If you die, you will be losing me anyway!'

The Doctor sat back and watched them argue like an old couple. Well, they _were_ an old couple, after all. It gave him a weird tingling sensation in the stomach. The things he never experienced. He tried to persuade himself he was a Time Lord: he was not meant to experience human emotions. But he wasn't sure. It wasn't clear any more. He felt dizzy again, shapes blurred in his eyes, and his thoughts became strangely incoherent.

That was when it occurred to him. _There may be a way_, he thought. _There might be a way to strengthen the pattern. But at what cost?! _Something told him that was exactly what _Rose's Doctor_ had in mind. He opened his eyes with a shudder, only to see Rose's face dangerously close to his own. She moved back, as if caught doing something inappropriate. It was better that she did because if she hadn't, he would have kissed her.

'You okay, Doctor?'

He nodded. He wasn't okay, not with the idea he had just formed, but the last thing he needed was to add to her worries.

'Rose, I … I … I don't know…'

'Think about it, Rose,' said the human Doctor. 'Suppose he heals me and strengthens my pattern, making it, well, more Time Lord than it is. He's got enough energy to do so, and I have enough of Time Lord in me to receive it. Erm. Probably. It will only cost him a lifetime. Or more. Hard to say how much it takes to get me going. I know, he's a Time Lord, he should know how to control that. But if I'm right, he's never done that before. Nothing more than giving 10 years of his life to the TARDIS.'

'Wait,' she interrupted him. 'He can save you by, like... spending his lives? But that's just...'

'Never mind, I have enough to spare,' the Doctor interrupted. If she wanted it, he would not hesitate. He didn't even mind spending them all if he could only be sure he was saving them both. But Rose wasn't listening. She was horrified at the thought of the Doctor giving away his lives, no matter how many he could have had.

'Last time someone did it for me, she spent all of hers,' he admitted with a sad smile. 'I know how to control the process so it's okay. It's the void part that's a mystery. Poison only kills life. Void erases the patterns, and like I said it's...'

He fell silent when he noticed them both gaping at him at the same time with shocked expressions.

'What?! What?! How could... How could anyone... I would have remembered that! But... they're all gone! Aren't they?' it was the first time he saw the human Doctor truly shaken. 'Tell me they are alive! Our people, our planet, are they alive?!'

'Oh, Doctor... she did it for you... I... think I remember her. I saw that face in your thoughts. She gave her life for you... not just once...' whispered Rose softly. 'She's one of those you've lost, isn't she?'

He forced the corners of his mouth up - but he knew it didn't quite look like a smile.

'The answer is: yes, to all your questions,' he said wearily. 'Can we, perhaps, focus on the more pressing things? It's not exactly time for stories, is it?'

The human Doctor grimaced but he didn't insist, taking up his argument where he left off.

'So in short, we can assume he spends all his regenerative energy on me. There's a chance of success, yep. Quite likely he'll be too weak to save you, even if he can fix your health. I live, you die.'

_Or worse than that, you disappear. Gone, never existed, _the Doctor thought.

'...Then I have to live a lifetime without you.'

_... if you remember her. I will, I know that. But are you Time Lord enough to remember?_

'And him? Have you thought about that? Oh, he'll be all right…'

_Not when I know__ I let my Rose die…_

'He'll find someone, he always does,' continued the human Doctor harshly. 'But do you want him to live with the thought he could have saved you? Do you really want to? Another two thousand years of knowing he failed you?'

'It's not fair!' she shouted. 'It wouldn't be his fault!'

'That's what you would tell him, Rose, I know. You always say that. It's not your fault, it's okay. But do you really think he would just take it?'

Rose said nothing.

'So there's the other option. He can try and save you and let me die. A bit more difficult 'cause you're not Time Lord. Like walking on a thin rope over a sun that is about to explode. But he'll do it.'

'How?' Rose demanded sharply. 'How exactly can he save me? And what's it got to do with not saving you?'

'I don't know... it's not been done before,' said the human Doctor defensively. 'He'll think of something. For you, Rose, he will.'

The Time Lord Doctor clenched his teeth.

'There's a theory, Rose, that patterns can be strengthened by, erm, merging them with other similar patterns. Like, you know, patching up holes. That's why he keeps talking about saving you instead of him. But that's a theory, no one's ever verified that...' he gulped. Thinking any further along that line made him feel sick. Rose's eyes widened in horror, and he vaguely realised that there were times when he would have thought that was a practical and reasonable solution. Until one Christmas, it was in 1869 in Cardiff, a stubborn human girl taught him that not every practical and reasonable solution was acceptable.

'Wait... you mean... you could patch me up... with pieces of him?'

'Rose, it's life patterns! Not pieces of skin or anything! It's not something you can even see!' said the human Doctor in an agitated voice. And then he added softly: 'It can be your only chance, Rose...'

'Like... like... like I'm some sort of Abzorbaloff... or Frankenstein?!' she whispered in a sickened voice.

'Rose, even if I die, you two will have each other. Isn't it worth a try, Rose? You could travel with him again. You have wanted it all along, I know it.'

Rose's face became as white as a sheet, and the Time Lord Doctor felt uncontrollable anger rising in his chest.

'Yes, right, this is perfect, isn't it?!' he cut in on the human guy. 'You are just a copy, expendable, nobody cares. Good enough to cut you into pieces and make a patchwork! Is this what you've learnt over the last nineteen years? Don't you get it?! It's Rose! You think you can just leave her like that? She brought you here because she wants you alive... _You_ are her Doctor. Damn, you're just as thick in the head as I was!'

'Fine then,' blurted the human Doctor. 'You're the god, you have the power, so what's your way? Wanna kill Rose instead of me? Is that it? Is that the best you can do?'

For a moment it looked like they were going to fight. The human Doctor clenched his fists. The Time Lord's eyes darkened ominously and his face hardened. There was no way he could choose between Rose and the human version of himself, not with that sort of choice, and he hated himself for it as much as he now hated the human Doctor for presenting him with such a choice. But most of all he hated being helpless when Rose needed his help.

Rose stared at them with a disquieting wild gaze, shifting her eyes from the Time Lord to the human, and back.

'Stop it! Stop it now!' she yelled.

Her voice was hoarse but the echo in the console room boosted it to an unexpected height and made it sound almost scary. Her forehead was covered with cold sweat, and her features contorted with pain.

'You're making me sick! I want my Doctor! I want my Doctor back! Go away!'

They rushed towards her but she shrank back from them. Was there repulsion in her face, or was he just imagining things? He stopped almost against his will and he saw the human Doctor force himself to stop too. They looked at her in dismay, uncertain what to do.

'This is sick! Leave me alone… Both of you… just go... NOW! I want my Doctor… I only want my Doctor... can't go on like this… just go… my heart will explode… please…'

'Rose!' he reached out for her without hesitation. He wanted to assure her he was by her side, and he was her Doctor: but she shuddered and wrestled herself out of his arms, giving him an agitated look. As if he suddenly became a complete stranger. The TARDIS shuddered at the same time, making both Doctors lose their balance.

_She's trying to protect Rose from us. From me._

It was more than he could bear and he almost doubled in pain. It was not physical but it hurt just as much.

'Please...' Rose implored weakly. 'I just want to be alone... I want my Doctor...'


	6. The Leap

_**Author's note:** __The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'_

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**FOREVER: NINETEEN HUNDRED**

* * *

**THE LEAP**

Alarmed by Rose's sudden outburst, the Doctors had no intention of leaving her alone in the console room in a complete mess. But the TARDIS was firm about it: suddenly there were reinforced walls around the console, the whole layout of the room had changed and they were pushed out of it in no time at all, like ordinary intruders. No discussion.

The Time Lord looked at his human counterpart: the pain on his face was obvious. He couldn't take his eyes off Rose, watching her through the reinforced glass. She didn't seem to recognise their faces. Did she actually begin to forget them? Void exposure effects could have kicked in under stress: but if they did, it meant they had very little time, and with the TARDIS locking them out of the console room, all they could do was stand there counting seconds.

Then another thought stuck him. What if her mind could not bear their presence? What if two Doctors were too many for her? He had been inside Rose's mind: he realised now how they chose different ways of coping with pain. He never forgot her: she held a special place in his hearts, a place he fortified with walls to make sure she was safe there. No one was allowed to look, not even himself. She never forgot him: but instead of locking him in a dungeon, she lived the nineteen years holding on to the broken fragments of the past. You couldn't even say she loved them both. For her, the two Doctors were the same man, split into two by a cruel trick of fate. And when she saw they side by side and realised they could never be one again, when they fought instead of comforting her and making her fell safe, like _her Doctor_ should, she broke down. After years of holding on to the splinters she finally understood they were only pieces of broken glass, nothing else.

Either way, it was bad. No entry to the console room. The Doctor could bang his fist against the wall in despair, begging the TARDIS to let them in, any of them, to make sure Rose was all right; or, if these were their last moments, to be there with her.

There was no response.

* * *

With the Doctors out of the room, Rose collapsed by the central console, breathing heavily. She embraced the metal column of the TARDIS. It may have looked different than when she travelled with the Doctor years ago, but it was a relief to discover it felt the same. She craved for familiarity. She pressed the cheek against the metal panel, trying to recall some bits and pieces. Lulled by the humming of the engines, she let the memories stream in like a river. _'The inside's bigger than the outside?' _~_ 'You look beautiful. Considering.' ~ 'Your wish is my command. But be careful what you wish for.' ~ 'Rose, I've just remembered. __I can dance!' ~ 'I'm dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape. And that's okay. Hope it's a good death.' ~ 'Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you you were fantastic.' ~ '__So where was I? Oh, that's right: Barcelona!' ~ 'Further than we've ever gone before.' ~ 'It said I was going to die in battle?' 'Then it lied.'_

A cold shiver went down her spine. All these words were said here, in this room, ages ago. It did feel like nineteen hundred years. How can you tell nineteen from nineteen hundred? Time was not a straight line, so all in all it probably didn't matter.

_It's not the time that matters. It's the person._

Echoes of the past were catching up with her, surrounding her with images so lively that they almost seemed real. Overwhelmed by emotions, Rose finally broke out in tears. There was no need to suppress it, no need to pretend. A long cry, with no hope of consolation.

Somehow, it felt like crying on the shoulder of a good friend. As some point she felt almost as if someone was trying to comfort her. Someone invisible, incorporeal was trying to embrace her. Telling her she was safe. She decided she was surely imagining things. She had a banging headache, and a sharp pain in her chest made it difficult to breathe. Then there was all that the Doctors had just said about her health. She could easily be delusional. The TARDIS _was _telepathic, a sentient being, all right, but that did not make her human. There was no way she could embrace or understand Rose.

'I wish you could, I really do. You were... nice to me,' Rose murmured between sobs. 'I missed you... You're still bigger on the inside, you haven't changed a bit!'

There was no-one else she could talk to and even though there was no way to communicate with the ship that way, it gave her a strange sensation of comfort just saying it aloud. She could at least pretend she was confiding in a friend: a friend who wouldn't get angry, or lost, who would just listen. Her voice was choked up, and her words incoherent. Thoughts and sentences falling apart, like herself.

'It's so hard. He's here, so close, after all these years... and I just can't cope... Because there's two of him. Like I'm holding a piece... a splinter... and it hurts. S'not about dying... I'm not scared. Well, a little maybe. S'about the Doctor. He's my Doctor... they are my Doctor... and I'm not making sense. We're all kind of shattered. I thought I can hold it together. I thought if I love him enough... but it's killing me. Makes my heart break... fall apart... I want my Doctor back... Not just bits and pieces... He's your Doctor too. Can you make it right? It's like he's smashed and scattered around... I can't bear to look at them, can't bear to listen... it just hurts more and more... Please… I don't know how… but can you help? '

There was no answer. Even the humming stopped. Rose's heart sank. She buried her face in her hands. After the nineteen years of putting up with something too complicated for her human heart and finding happiness in the unacceptable, she was suddenly too tired to bear it any more.

_There must be a way… to put all those broken fragments together…_

She knew there was no way, and for a moment the burden was so heavy that she just wished everything would stop: the memories, the feelings, the entire existence. Maybe it was better for them all if they could just die.

_But I don't want him to die... I want him to live, to be whole again. Can you heal him?_

The console touching Rose's cheek felt warm. Tears trickled down her face one by one, disappearing between the metal sheets of the panel. A thin and hardly visible thread of flickering mist rose from a crack between the sheets, and wound around Rose's hand. Then it thickened, solidified, became almost material. It sprawled along her arm, slowly engulfing her head, still rested against the console, then moved towards the other hand. In no more than a minute, her whole figure was covered in scintillating light.

She did not feel it at first, too absorbed in her own thoughts, broken with spasms and pangs of pain in her chest, until a slight tickling caused her to look up. She was startled and a little frightened: she remembered what happened when Margaret... when Blon Fel-Fotch looked into the heart of the TARDIS; what she did not remember was when she herself did. All that remained was a vague memory of something terrifying going on in her head back then, something completely mind blowing. This time is seemed different. The light was softer, less dazzling. Subdued, as if the TARDIS knew her own power now and wanted to protect the human.

A question lingered in Rose's head.

_How far would you go?_

She wasn't sure where it came from. For a moment she saw a vivid image of a woman wearing old fashioned strangely tattered clothes, her hair a bit unkempt. There was something off about her. As if she wasn't quite comfortable in her body. Rose gaped at her, and the image disappeared. But the question remained. Rose wondered how far she would go.

_As far as it takes to make it right. He is … they are both my Doctor. I'd go as far as he would._

_What would you want me to do?_

Then it dawned on Rose it was the TARDIS asking her questions. But there was no answer she could give. She wanted everything to stop, she wanted to forget; and yet when she thought about forgetting the Doctor, everything inside her shuddered in fear. No! She wanted to remember! Thoughts swarming in her mind, buzzing and pushing around, Rose just wept helplessly.

_I... don't know. I __trust you. I'll be okay: I'm dying, guess it's okay. Can you make him okay? Heal him. Make him whole? I don't know..._

There was a friendly reassuring buzz around her and the light grew stronger and brighter, filling the console room. Through the tears, Rose noticed hazy shapes of the two Doctors, the human and the Time Lord, running back towards her. The TARDIS must have let them both in. Their faces looked funny... kind of terrified. But there was nothing they should be terrified of, she thought. They were shouting something she didn't hear.

'I trust you,' she gasped.

* * *

As he ran towards Rose, there were thousands of thoughts passing through his mind.

Did she do it again? Looked into the heart of the TARDIS? It was foolish, and risky, and... Then it struck him that she couldn't do it. She wasn't strong enough, and she didn't know how. So what was happening? Was it the TARDIS that reached out to her? There was no way Rose could withstand time vortex energy in her body. His face went white.

'Rose! Rose!'

He heard his voice echo in the console room and realized the human Doctor was calling her name at the same time.

They grabbed her hands almost simultaneously, trying to pull her away from the light bleeding from the console. Her face was wet with tears and her gaze was empty but a peaceful smile lingered on her lips. She squeezed the Doctor's hand - actually, she squeezed both their hands. Like she was asking them to stay.

They both knelt by her side, looking eagerly at her face, trying to understand what exactly was going on. As they did, a tingling sensation went through the Doctor's hand, making him shudder and releasing a puff of energy. He was still within first hours of his regeneration cycle, filled to the brim with vibrating life. It could be used to heal a Time Lord, just as he had told Rose. But what exactly was the TARDIS trying to do? It felt like she was sucking energy out of his body. All his instincts told him to protest, to fight against the idea. His eyes open wide, he caught a glimpse of the human Doctor's shocked expression. He must have been thinking the same. Funny how they were similar even after a few regenerations, he noticed.

But would the TARDIS do anything against Rose's will?

No, the TARDIS wanted to protect Rose.

What it this was something that Rose wanted to happen?

A scene flashed through his mind. Ages ago, in the cabinet room on Downing Street, she didn't ask what he needed to do to save the world or how dangerous it would be for her. She just told him to do it. Now she was willing to take this leap. A true leap of faith: she probably didn't understand exactly what what going on, no more than he did, or what the dangers were. It was just fair that he should take that leap with her, without asking. After all, what could have happened? He didn't really mind being torn apart or scattered in particles over time and space. Or just dead. If it meant peace for all of them, it could be good. So if that was what she wanted...

_I trust you… Do it for Rose. Make it right for her. I'm ready._

Again he thought he heard an echo of his own thoughts. Then he remembered the TARDIS could talk to them both at the same time. His human counterpart told her the same. Make it right for my Rose. The Time Lord smiled, suddenly reassured.

In reply, the time vortex energy swirled gently around him, drawing the regeneration energy from his hands. He gave it away without protesting. His lives, his regenerations didn't matter. He knew the TARDIS was trying to make things right. He wished he could believe it was possible. He felt the two energies blend and form something completely new, something that enveloped them completely. He saw uncertainty in the face of the human Doctor, and a flicker of consciousness in Rose's eyes, as if she was just waking up from a dream. Even if the TARDIS talked to her, she would not remember it and she would be scared. He took a deep breath.

'Oh damn it, just hug!' he yelled, dragging them both close to his chest. Four heartbeats. The flickering and swirling of the mist intensified. His head was beginning to swim but he was determined to hold them as long as he managed to stay conscious. The slight tingling in his body turned into ache, and ache into pain. Not very hard to bear, but he knew it would keep growing, for all of them.

Rose was the first to give in. Her moan almost broke his heart but he managed to hold her as she started sliding down from his arms. Her body was limp, lifeless, and he could not make out her face.

'It's all right, Rose,' he whispered through the in the golden mist. 'Just... don't go anywhere... not without me!'

Then he felt the other Doctor's grasp suddenly soften. A nauseating throb grew in his own stomach. He made an effort to relax his tense muscles. Just go with the flow. Let it happen.

Suddenly he felt fear. Worse than he experienced when he looked into the time vortex as a child. The bits of his consciousness panicked and screamed. No! No! Don't! Like in a nightmare, he waddled through the river against its flow, unable to move. Run! Just run!

No. He must take this leap. For Rose.

'Yes… I _want_ to go...' he whispered.

And then - the overwhelming pain hit his body, so close to ecstasy that he could hardly tell which one it was, and the nausea. He needed to hold Rose. He couldn't let her fall. Couldn't let her go. That was the last thought to dash through his mind before he collapsed on the floor.

The golden mist lit up for a split second, and began to clear, leaving behind a gossamer of light streaks interwoven in a complex pattern. It trembled and shifted gently, as if moved by invisible wind, before fading completely.


	7. The Memory

_**Author's note:**__ The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'_

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**THE MEMORY**

An elderly man wiped his glasses and placed them carefully on his nose before looking at the ID and checking the list of employees. He always did that, just in case, no matter what intricate security systems they installed. That was his job. They had all the fancy stuff: voice recognition, iris recognition, fingerprint scanner, but in the end, what could be more reliable than a living person? He was proud to be there, checking their IDs. He had little idea of what the institute did, some sort of scientific research, good for humanity. That was quite enough. He smiled.

'Thank you, Mr Tyler. Have a nice day!'

Mr Tyler was quite a celebrity. A rich man, too, spending his fortune on science. Handing back the ID card, the guard plucked his courage and asked a bit sheepishly:

'Sir? Hope you don't mind, sir, I've always wanted to ask... but somehow it slipped my memory... that blonde lady that comes here, she is also a Tyler, right here...' he pointed to a name on the list, just below Peter Tyler.

'My daughter, Rose,' Pete explained.

That was not exactly true but the guard didn't need to know the details. Besides, after twenty years she was really like a daughter to him. Amazing years, with the new Jackie, and Rose, and little Tony.

'Oh, right, didn't know. Such a nice and kind person, sir! Always smiling, even when she looks sad! Haven't seen her today, though?'

'No, no, she's not coming today. She is... well, she's travelling... abroad. With a friend.'

That was not exactly true, either, but he really didn't feel like discussing it. For all he knew, Rose and Doctor were dead. Even with the enthusiasm of the Doctor, even if that whole idea of closing cracks from the outside was correct, it didn't seem probable that they survived. But as long as he could tell Jackie he wasn't sure, it was okay to use present tense.

The image of Rose and Doctor waving them goodbye somehow caused him more pain today than it last night. He remembered he would have to take the readings Rose usually took. Some data was transferred remotely but some required field trips. It was not easy to think they would be taking a new person in her place soon. But before they did, it was his job to do. He would also have check the Doctor's experiment in the lab. It was still unfinished and the results could be useful to Torchwood even after the Doctor was gone. Besides, there was the conversation he had with the Doctor some weeks before they left. The Doctor warned him that all means of extradimensional travel should be destroyed as soon as the mission launched. They should not be left in human hands: way too dangerous to play with. Funny, they actually talked about it quite often: the Doctor kept reminding him about it - but somehow Pete he never paid much attention. Now it was all coming back. He cleared his throat, wished the guard a good day, and rushed to his office.

He was met by a sniffling sound from behind a huge monitor.

'Betsy? Are you all right?'

'Yes, Mr Tyler... am all... right,' came the reply, broken by sobs. His assistant was a sweet girl, young and affectionate, but sometimes overly emotional. 'Just can't stop thinking... poor Commander Tyler, and Doctor Smith... such a handsome man! They won't ever be coming back, will they? They're gone...'

'Oh, we can't know that!' he winked at her with pretended cheerfulness. 'They are mad enough to succeed! Cheer up, Betsy! I'm sure they landed somewhere safe. Now get me the data base for Storage X-1, will you, love? We've got work to do.'

Betsy wiped her nose loudly and got to work.

'Poor Commander Tyler... you should have told her to stay! I would stay if my dad told me not to go!' she murmured.

* * *

When the phone rang, Tony was rather surprised.

'Dad? Is anything the matter?' He didn't remember his Dad ever calling him from work.

'Son? I need to ask you a question. Tell me the truth because it's serious.'

The tone he used and the way he addressed Tony were so unlike their usual conversations that Tony almost got scared.

'So... have you been to Storage X-1 recently?'

Ooops. Right. So this one was out, then. He wasn't quite sure what was the safest thing to say.

'Erm, Storage X-1? No, why? I mean, not recently. Have you had some leakage down in the storage area?'

Pete Tyler's voice was bit impatient.

'There's nothing that can leak there, not in X-1, and you know that perfectly well. Someone's sabotaged all the stuff that is kept there, though. Quite a good job, too. Very subtle. Very thorough. I wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for the... Anyway, the logs show you were the last person to access X-1, so I've got to ask you...'

'Oh come on, Dad. Could have been the Doctor. You know he used other people's passes sometimes. He even got in without any pass, and we never knew how. If it's something about the dimensional stuff, then I bet it was him.'

Not very fair, trying to put all the blame on your accomplice, he thought. But for one thing, the accomplice was safe from any repercussions at the moment, and Tony was not. And besides, he expected his father to dismiss the idea, as usual. Somehow he never paid attention when it came to Bill*.

'Funny you should say that. I've been thinking the same thing, actually,' came a completely unexpected reply. 'He was so set on getting the whole stuff destroyed for the safety of our world that he might have become impatient. I don't mind if he did, he probably did it better than anyone could. But I would rather be sure. And then, there's all the cleaning we need to do. File reports and all that stuff. You don't think Rose was in it, too?'

Tony's heart beat faster. It's been ages since he heard his father mention Rose.

'Rose? Erm, no idea, why would she be?' he asked innocently.

'Well, knowing them, they would both be in it, right? Besides, everybody keeps mentioning Rose to me today, so I just... Tony? Tony?! Are you there?!'

The phone slipped onto the desk. For a moment, Tony stood still, chasing a vague memory of something that he must have heard... or read?... very recently. Something really important. But where was it? He rummaged through the pile of things on the floor: there were books, records, the t-shirt he wore yesterday, a few unpaired socks, a Geiger counter, a valentine card from Betsy, a swiss army knife and some empty plastic bottles. His mum had always complained about the mess in his room, now he could see why. The volume he needed to find was huge and heavy, not far from the top of the pile though.

It was the title that caught Tony's attention in the first place: _The Name of the Rose_. In Bill's hands it appeared, well, meaningful. Bill said it was a detective story. Well, sort of. And that he knew it from the old world, so he wanted to compare versions. It never came up again, until last week he suddenly asked Tony if he wanted to borrow it. To be quite honest, Tony was never keen on big heavy books. Nor on small ones. He preferred audio books, so he could listen to them while doing some boring chores. But with Bill and Rose going on the mission soon, Tony felt like he couldn't really refuse. He tried to read it the first night but it wasn't like a detective story at all. More like something about philosophy. Some passages were underlined, and there were hand written notes on the margin, scattered across the pages. Not making much sense for Tony. He asked Bill about it the next day, but Bill just shrugged.

Now it all came back. Impatiently turning the pages, Tony looked for that one specific note that caught his eye before, next to an underlined passage. Was it here? _"What is love? There is nothing in the world, neither man nor Devil nor any thing, that I hold as suspect as love, for it penetrates the soul more than any other thing. Nothing exists that so fills and binds the heart as love does. Therefore, unless you have those weapons that subdue it, the soul plunges through love into an immense abyss."_** Nah, not this one, this was philosophy. But somewhere else... there was something that mattered.

Here it was! _"Yesterday's rose endures in its name, we hold empty names."_** The sound of the sentence gave Tony the creeps. And right there, on the margin, was the note he was looking for.

_You asked me if there was a way to know if we survived. There may be. Pay attention to names. If you cannot hold on to Rose's name any longer, then she's gone. But if you hear her name mentioned in conversations, if people seem to remember her more clearly than ever before, then maybe, just maybe, she made it. I hope she did. Take care, and pay attention to names. Bill_

Tony's heart raced as he read and re-read the note. Then he burst out laughing madly.

'Tony?! Are you all right?! Tony, what the hell is going on there?!'

He completely forgot he had Dad on the phone.

'Dad, you're not gonna believe this... I think I just got a message the other side...'

* * *

_Author's notes:  
* Bill is explained in my other story, 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'  
** Both quotes are from 'The Name of the Rose' by Umberto Eco._


	8. The Dance

_**Author's note:**__ The story about a future incarnation of the Doctor, also starring the 10th Doctor Duplicate, Rose Tyler, and - last but not least - the TARDIS. Never underestimate the TARDIS!_

_For prequel, see 'Forever: The Broken Fragments'_

_[Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. BBC does. I only happen to love Doctor Who, which I believe is not punishable by law.]_

* * *

**THE DANCE**

The engines were a humming soft, relaxing tune and the ship was swaying gently, dancing to its own lullaby.

They were alone. The _two_ of them were alone. Just the two of them, no one else. He and a human shape curled on the floor. The realisation hit him on the head like a rock avalanche, and filled him with fear. He remembered plunging into the abyss with Rose, not knowing what would happen. He remembered wanting to run.

And now Rose was lying motionless on the TARDIS floor, her face down, her hair in a mess.

He held his breath, unable to reach out, unable to touch her, for the fear of what he might find out. She might have... she might be... No, he didn't even want to think about it. For a few long seconds time stood still - until his sharpened senses finally caught the sound he longed to hear. Her breath. It was shallow and hardly audible but she was breathing. Something between cry and laughter broke out of his chest. The fact that Rose was alive was the only thing his mind was able to process. Whatever had just happened, Rose was alive.

As his mind cleared a bit, he looked at his own hands, half expecting to see familiar streaks of light. He was relieved: they seemed unchanged. He did feel some strange sensations inside, a bit like those that sometimes accompanied regeneration, but this time it felt unusual. Different from what he had ever experienced. He took time to focus on parts of his own body, trying to determine if they had changed. His ears. His teeth. His legs. His kidneys. For some reason he just couldn't tell. Readings were unclear. The experience was entirely new to him. Could it be that...? Grasped by panic, he touched his chest.

A beat of four. Two hearts. All right, no change here. _A beat of four?! Two hearts?! What?!_ He felt confused. Even worse: he was confused by being confused. It was like a spiral, triggered by something that was slightly off, something that didn't add up: but at the moment it was too subtle for him to grasp. He needed to concentrate. The most important thing...

He bent over Rose and mentally scolded himself for not taking care of her immediately. She certainly needed his attention more than his teeth or kidneys, no matter how 'strange' they felt. She was alive, but other than that he needed to check her up. He searched the pockets for his sonic screwdriver, cursing under his breath, until the TARDIS mercifully pointed it out to him with a beam of light.

Grabbing the screwdriver, he gently brushed the hair off Rose's face - and he froze.

Her face.

It was still _her_ face, thankfully. Pale and covered with black make-up smudges.

Except, it was a young face. Not a single wrinkle on it.

Like the face of the shop girl he once saw trapped in the basement at Henrik's, defending herself against shop window dummies. Like the face he saw when he woke up wearing Jackie's friend's pajamas in the flat at Powell Estate, and a Christmas tree was trying to kill them. Like on New Earth, when she kissed him and he realized it was actually someone else hidden behind the face. Like the face...

A shiver went down his spine.

For a moment, a completely impossible, preposterous, but extremely vivid memory took his breath away. A memory of something that happened in his life... No, something that _never_happened! Or, actually… actually… He held still for a moment, trying to quiet his mind and think clearly, and to stop the sudden rush of blood through his veins. It _couldn't_ be his memory. He _knew_ it never happened. He may have fantasized about it, wanted it to happen, he admitted with a guilty conscience, but it never actually happened.

Yet the memory felt like his own, just a little subdued. Just like, he imagined, a human would feel and remember.

Before jumping to conclusions, struggling to keep his excitement in check, he examined his Time Lord memories. He looked back at the things that happened to him over the last few years, and something inside him shuddered with disgust. Did he _really_ do all that? How could he... He clenched his teeth, trying to recall faces from a more distant past instead. Amy and Rory. River. Clara. For some weird reason they filled him with wonder. There was some strangeness to them he didn't notice before. In some inexplicable way they were at the same time completely new and very familiar to him.

He was whole again.

There was no 'other Doctor', no 'human Doctor' versus 'Time Lord Doctor'. It was _all_ him. The same person. He had had a rare chance of living two parallel lives. One was Time Lord, one was human. One timeline was nineteen hundred years, the other one was only nineteen, but they were both his own. Both equally real. The realisation made him dizzy: even _his_ mind needed time to adjust to two different sets of memories, differing time spans and two divergent personalities now merged into one. That was why his whole body felt inexplicably strange. He guessed the strangeness would disappear with time. Being a Time Lord, he knew he should be able to handle it. He just needed a little time.

Overwhelmed with memories of two timelines rushing through his mind, he shut them off. It was dangerous, and losing his mind completely was not really the best idea. He knew he should take it easy. Slowly. Better let the memories settle down and surface one by one. For now, he should focus on the present. All he needed to know was that the split timelines merged back into one and that Rose was by his side. Just as she should be. Just as she had always been.

The idea that she had never actually left his side, at least in one of the timelines, touched the very depths of his soul. Thinking of Rose was thrilling and soothing at the same time. It was almost as if her name removed the strangeness and the confusion. This must have been because she was part of both timelines. Not physically, no. But no matter how far from his conscious memory he locked her, she was always close. Just a heartbeat away.

He hoped he wasn't going to forget either of the timelines. When time was rewritten, when timelines were changed, the lesser species never remembered. Their minds were not designed to follow multiple timelines. When he himself chose to rewrite time, he always remembered both lines, the one that was erased, and the one that prevailed. But this, this was different. It had never happened before. It was not his doing. Cautiously, he decided to have a peek into the past. The Time Lord timeline first. Then the human one. It was all there. He couldn't take it all in, not at once, for it made his head spin. But it was all there. He would jump up and start dancing right there in the console room, out of sheer excitement, if it weren't for Rose still lying in his arms, unconscious or just asleep.

The thought woke him up abruptly. Suddenly scared, he grabbed his sonic screwdriver and fiddled with it trying to find the right settings. Then, a relieved smile appeared on his face. She was well again. 'Well' did not cover it. She was in perfect health: no traces of radiation sickness, no traces of the void impact. No damage from the dimensional cannon she used year ago to get back to him. (_And which_, he realised at the back of his mind, _will not be used again after his and Lil' Bill's clandestine visit to Storage X-1..._). Her life pattern was intact. Even more than that: it was stronger than he would expect in a human being. It was still human but somehow reinforced.

Was there anything of the Bad Wolf still left in her? Or was it all the TARDIS's doing? The moment the question lingered in his head, he heard the ship hum. It sounded mischievous, as if she was giggling after a good prank. He almost heard her say 'Not telling _you!_' and laugh happily. He smiled, trying to mentally send her all his gratitude and trust. His best friend, ever. It didn't really matter _what_ she did, or _how_. There was only one thing that mattered.

It was all right and Rose was with him. Rose had always been with him. Every broken time fragment found its place. She kept these shards for him through time, even though they made her heart bleed, and now she made the mirror whole again. His Rose and his TARDIS, hand in hand.

Holding Rose in his arms, he cuddled her gently, ran his fingers through her golden hair, so soft, so beautiful and so very close - and kept grinning and beaming at her with the maddest grins, holding back the tears that kept welling up in his eyes. She was still recovering from the shock and exhaustion after what had happened, so he watched her every breath patiently, not daring to wake her up.

* * *

She woke up smiling. Then, upon seeing him, her eyes filled with mixed emotions he could not quite read. There was anxiety and fear, and sadness, and flickers of hope hidden underneath, but there was more.

'Doctor?' she asked in a croaky voice.

'It's me, Rose.'

'Okay,' she said slowly, processing the information. 'It's you. So he's ... gone?'

'No, Rose, I mean it's really me!'

She didn't understand at first but the Doctor's completely insane grin left her in no doubt that something absolutely marvelous and incredible had happened. Her heart raced. Her reason told her some things were just impossible. The old dream of hers, in which there was only one Doctor, could never be fulfilled... But the way he grinned! Behind that grin was the man she had spent the last nineteen years with. And the Time Lord she lost ages ago. And the one she had bumped into in the void after a whole lifetime in another universe, the one she saw regenerate.

'How?' she gasped.

That insane grin again. And his hand holding hers reassuringly.

'Don't ask me, you made it happen... you put all those pieces back together.'

'I didn't... Wasn't me, I mean, I can't make miracles...'

_Oh yes, you can, Rose, yes you can! You don't know how much you can!_ He wanted to shout it out - but instead he only cupped her cheek and looked deep into her brown eyes, thinking how much he missed them, and how close they were to him all that time.

'I just... I just wanted them together so much...' she ended tearfully. 'Doctor?'

She placed her hand on his chest. As she felt his heartbeat, a soft smile appeared on her face.

'Time Lord,' he confirmed. 'Is it okay, Rose?'

She nodded.

'I thought you preferred human though?'

'No, I prefer _you_. Not _human_ or _Time Lord_. Just _you_. I just didn't know it was possible...'

'Neither did I. Still makes my head spin,' as he said that, it suddenly struck him that she must be even more confused. He hugged her protectively. (_...That mind blowing memory again of holding Rose in his arms, just yesterday... and waiting for her nineteen hundred years at the same time..._) 'Are you all right, Rose? It there anything you would like?'

Half expecting her to say 'I want chips', he wondered how he was going to get these.

'So you mean, it's like... like everybody lives?' she whispered instead.

'I guess so... for now, at least,' his thoughts suddenly ran to where they were and how they met in the first place. He needed to check it, because if they were still in the void, then it wasn't over yet, and if he wanted Rose to be safe, he should...

'I want to dance' she said with unexpected resolve.

'Rose, we...'

He wanted to protest, to explain they should not be wasting time on trifles while they were not safe. But the words died in his throat before he ever uttered them. An old familiar tune from the past, quick and happy, rose in the background. It seemed to mimic the beating of his hearts, of _their_ hearts, inviting them to follow, giving him a familiar tingling in his stomach. He wanted to dance with her. After nineteen hundred years, wasn't it just fair to have one dance with Rose before facing the void, death, or whatever awaited them outside? Shouldn't the universe allow them that once dance?

He helped Rose to her feet, holding her hand. It was like magic: the cracks and fissures in his soul seemed to heal under her touch. All the things he wanted to forget, perhaps he could make them right after all. He didn't want to run from the past. He wanted to fight. He knew he could be a better man for Rose, and suddenly there was no stopping him.

They danced in the console room: their hearts beating in the rhythm of jive, both a little out of breath, radiating absolute joy, never taking their eyes off each other's face, even when they got the moves wrong. Moves didn't matter. Music didn't matter. It was being together that mattered.

It felt like the nineteen hundred years between them never happened.

Because in a way, they never did.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**The story will continue in '****Forever: Colours of Eternity****'**

I hope after this finale I will still have a reader or two... or am I being too optimistic?


End file.
